Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Wedding, Survival, Planning: What I've Learned & Hope To Pass Onto Others
It was a miracle. Miraculous. It was truly remarkable. We survived the wedding process. On October 3 we marched right down that grass-laden Virginian countryside aisle and got ourselves hitched. And the best part? It wasn't a total disaster. In fact, it was downright beautiful.
I was worried there for a while, the way all brides worry, but despite all the hiccups--of which there were many (too many to count)--it was a wonderful day.
There is so much I could write here, so much advice I could pass along to all the brides-to be out there. I could write about any number of things, like the myths of engagement as "the happiest time of your life" or the challenges in navigating new family dynamics or even the surprising grieving period a bride goes through when she says goodbye to her single life. There is so much here--a minefield of nuances and moments--but in the end, if I could only dispense a single piece of advice, it would simply be this: the only person you can ever please is yourself.
1. You will, at least once in this process, feel like the biggest disappointment to everyone around you. You and your fiance want to be married outdoors. Your future in-laws prefer the church. You and your fiance want to hire a photojournalist. Your parents say she costs too much money. You and your fiance want to keep the guest list small. Everyone and their mother wants to invite everyone and their mother and their mother's friend's cousin's sister. You and your fiance want candid photos. Your future in-laws want formal family photos. You want a reception in a barn with quirk and character. Your dad prefers a hotel ballroom. You and your fiance want a Christian service. Your atheist, agnostic, or otherwise religiously unattached guests ask if there's anyway the officiant could refrain from mentioning "God" in your ceremony. You want to wear your hair up and windswept. One of your friends says down is the way to go, no questions asked. At every turn, someone is flabbergasted. So what do you do? Follow your own vision, because at the very least you and your fiance will be happy with the result.
2. You will feel that your wedding, at least once, is an inconvenience to everyone's lives. It's a common truth that the only constant is change, and that maxim will never be as true as when you're in the midst of planning a wedding. Relatives on your guest list will get sick, move, or god forbid pass away. The women in your lives will get pregnant, divorced, break-up, or find a new love and want to bring him to your wedding and then not want to bring him to your wedding because they had a fight. Still others will get engaged at the same time as you, and may negotiate when your wedding date should be, ideally, to suit their wedding dreams. And others, including friends, family, guests you barely know, will tell you that a year-long engagement is too long, too faraway, and that it's just one more thing they'll have to put on their already too-busy calendars. So what do you do? Just this: schedule your wedding around any foreseeable events, set the date, and then move on. Say that you're terribly sorry, but you're not Jesus, Gandolf, or a fortune teller and are unable to coordinate the unpredictable lives of everyone on your guest list.
3. Guests will suddenly develop a grand sense of entitlement that will put JoLo to shame. It's true. There's something about weddings that brings out the inner diva in everyone. Guests spontaneously forget how to use MapQuest to locate your wedding venue. Many refuse, for whatever reason, to write down the time of your ceremony and/or rehearsal dinner into their personal calendars and expect you to remind them on a weekly basis of when such-and-such starts and ends. Many will develop a severe phobia of all things computer-related and can't seem to type in the URL of your carefully-constructed and oh-so-informative website that would answer all of their millions of questions about your registry, dress code, and ceremony location. A few intrepid guests may even ask if they can invite the new guy they're sort-of, kind-of seeing or every friend they can possibly think of. And some may even inquire why you, your fiance, or your parents are not paying for their gas, hotel, or other expenses to your attend your wedding. What's a bride to do? Provide every courtesy to your guests within reason, commit yourself to answering at least two stupid questions from every guest, and then practice this simple refrain, "You can find everything you need on our website."
4. You will feel, after it's over, that no one noticed all of the details you worked so hard on, cared so deeply for, and spent so much time on. The bridal industry will delight you with full-page glossy ads for the perfect flower centerpieces, the peacock-themed reception, the perfect color of a signature wedding punch that all the in-vogue brides are serving--or didn't you know? These magazines will leave you salivating, panicked, ambitious to create the most elegant wedding you can dream of. You will become a collage artist, a pack rat, assembling and pasting and coordinating palettes and always on the look out for that just-right addition to your bridal decor. You may have fun doing this--and well you should-- dreaming of the perfect day that expresses your love for your fiance and who you are as a couple.
But then, when the big day arrives, and all is a blur, you'll realize that no one, at least no one that you've heard between all the chaos of the moment, has said anything about all the details you've spent months creating. The perfectly tied bows on your lace votives. The carefully selected flowers to evoke a mood. The 19th-century typewriter keys you glued and centered with razor-sharp precision on 100% recycled escort cards for each and every guest. All of this will be in the shadows, never mentioned, and you'll wonder to yourself, "why did I spend all this time when no one even cares?"
The thing is, and this is my advice to all brides out there: follow and remain true to your vision. If you are enthralled with your concept, it doesn't matter if anyone notices, compliments, or remarks upon all of your artistry. Be proud of what you've accomplished, every decision you've made along this wild and crazy journey--from cake flavor to shades of flowers--because every decision was, and is, a beautiful reflection, however subconscious, of you and of your relationship with your husband-to-be.
I was worried there for a while, the way all brides worry, but despite all the hiccups--of which there were many (too many to count)--it was a wonderful day.
There is so much I could write here, so much advice I could pass along to all the brides-to be out there. I could write about any number of things, like the myths of engagement as "the happiest time of your life" or the challenges in navigating new family dynamics or even the surprising grieving period a bride goes through when she says goodbye to her single life. There is so much here--a minefield of nuances and moments--but in the end, if I could only dispense a single piece of advice, it would simply be this: the only person you can ever please is yourself.
1. You will, at least once in this process, feel like the biggest disappointment to everyone around you. You and your fiance want to be married outdoors. Your future in-laws prefer the church. You and your fiance want to hire a photojournalist. Your parents say she costs too much money. You and your fiance want to keep the guest list small. Everyone and their mother wants to invite everyone and their mother and their mother's friend's cousin's sister. You and your fiance want candid photos. Your future in-laws want formal family photos. You want a reception in a barn with quirk and character. Your dad prefers a hotel ballroom. You and your fiance want a Christian service. Your atheist, agnostic, or otherwise religiously unattached guests ask if there's anyway the officiant could refrain from mentioning "God" in your ceremony. You want to wear your hair up and windswept. One of your friends says down is the way to go, no questions asked. At every turn, someone is flabbergasted. So what do you do? Follow your own vision, because at the very least you and your fiance will be happy with the result.
2. You will feel that your wedding, at least once, is an inconvenience to everyone's lives. It's a common truth that the only constant is change, and that maxim will never be as true as when you're in the midst of planning a wedding. Relatives on your guest list will get sick, move, or god forbid pass away. The women in your lives will get pregnant, divorced, break-up, or find a new love and want to bring him to your wedding and then not want to bring him to your wedding because they had a fight. Still others will get engaged at the same time as you, and may negotiate when your wedding date should be, ideally, to suit their wedding dreams. And others, including friends, family, guests you barely know, will tell you that a year-long engagement is too long, too faraway, and that it's just one more thing they'll have to put on their already too-busy calendars. So what do you do? Just this: schedule your wedding around any foreseeable events, set the date, and then move on. Say that you're terribly sorry, but you're not Jesus, Gandolf, or a fortune teller and are unable to coordinate the unpredictable lives of everyone on your guest list.
3. Guests will suddenly develop a grand sense of entitlement that will put JoLo to shame. It's true. There's something about weddings that brings out the inner diva in everyone. Guests spontaneously forget how to use MapQuest to locate your wedding venue. Many refuse, for whatever reason, to write down the time of your ceremony and/or rehearsal dinner into their personal calendars and expect you to remind them on a weekly basis of when such-and-such starts and ends. Many will develop a severe phobia of all things computer-related and can't seem to type in the URL of your carefully-constructed and oh-so-informative website that would answer all of their millions of questions about your registry, dress code, and ceremony location. A few intrepid guests may even ask if they can invite the new guy they're sort-of, kind-of seeing or every friend they can possibly think of. And some may even inquire why you, your fiance, or your parents are not paying for their gas, hotel, or other expenses to your attend your wedding. What's a bride to do? Provide every courtesy to your guests within reason, commit yourself to answering at least two stupid questions from every guest, and then practice this simple refrain, "You can find everything you need on our website."
4. You will feel, after it's over, that no one noticed all of the details you worked so hard on, cared so deeply for, and spent so much time on. The bridal industry will delight you with full-page glossy ads for the perfect flower centerpieces, the peacock-themed reception, the perfect color of a signature wedding punch that all the in-vogue brides are serving--or didn't you know? These magazines will leave you salivating, panicked, ambitious to create the most elegant wedding you can dream of. You will become a collage artist, a pack rat, assembling and pasting and coordinating palettes and always on the look out for that just-right addition to your bridal decor. You may have fun doing this--and well you should-- dreaming of the perfect day that expresses your love for your fiance and who you are as a couple.
But then, when the big day arrives, and all is a blur, you'll realize that no one, at least no one that you've heard between all the chaos of the moment, has said anything about all the details you've spent months creating. The perfectly tied bows on your lace votives. The carefully selected flowers to evoke a mood. The 19th-century typewriter keys you glued and centered with razor-sharp precision on 100% recycled escort cards for each and every guest. All of this will be in the shadows, never mentioned, and you'll wonder to yourself, "why did I spend all this time when no one even cares?"
The thing is, and this is my advice to all brides out there: follow and remain true to your vision. If you are enthralled with your concept, it doesn't matter if anyone notices, compliments, or remarks upon all of your artistry. Be proud of what you've accomplished, every decision you've made along this wild and crazy journey--from cake flavor to shades of flowers--because every decision was, and is, a beautiful reflection, however subconscious, of you and of your relationship with your husband-to-be.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
2.5 Weeks And Counting!!!
What's left...
- Print programs + bind
- Glue ribbon and keys to escort cards (waiting to finalize seating)
- Get 2 coasters for pint and quart size mason jars for guest book table
- Tailor Jen's dress
- Hair trial #2: 9.19 @11:45
- Final checks for caterer, cake, florist, musician
- Anniversary card for Kate and Matt
- Chris--dance shoes
- Confirm rehearsal dinner room--finalize seating, make seating chart on easel
- Finish slideshow
- Place order at Whole Foods for 12-inch cake (rehearsal dinner) + 80 apple tarts (order required 3-4 days in advance
- Make "Welcome" sign for escort card table
- Dress pick-up: September 29th
- Pick up signed marriage license at Falls Church
- Print rehearsal dinner instruction cards
- Complete alcohol estimate, purchase alcohol
- Hand out ties to groomsmen
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
3 weeks out...
What's left:
- Finish rehearsal dinner slideshow
- Place order at Whole Foods for 12-inch cake (rehearsal dinner) + 80 apple tarts (order required 3-4 days in advance
- Finish escort cards
- Make "Welcome" sign for escort card table
- Proofread programs, print, bind with ribbon and covers
- Buy coasters for 2 flower arrangements on guest book table
- Dress pick-up: September 29th
- Final hair trial: September 19th
- Pick up signed marriage license at Falls Church
- Print rehearsal dinner instruction cards
- Complete alcohol estimate, purchase alcohol
- Wrap gifts, write cards
- Hand out ties to groomsmen
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Bathroom Baskets!!! Just in case....
We're all set with bathroom baskets--one for the ladies, and for the gents : ) Somer came up with these cute "Just in Case" signs that wrap around the midsection of the baskets. Adorable!!!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Grass Seed Bags!!!!
We did it!! All 80 bags stamped, stuffed, and tied--thanks to Somer's will power and undue patience!
Friday, September 4, 2009
More Hair: My FAVORITES
Lingering stuff we need or need to do....
- 2 cigar ashtrays
- escort card ribbon and key gluing
- make a "welcome" sign for the escort table (decided "Find Your Seat" was yucky)
- 2 coasters for mason jars for guest book table
- pens for guest book table
- re-sole my dance shoes
- give ties to groomsmen
- show Jen shoe and wrap options
- send Jen Chase final photography form (pending Kate's timeline)
- Write checks to all remaining vendors. For Chris + Ally: florist, musicians, B&B, honeymoon, trees, parasols.
- Chris needs to write four remaining Thank Yous in programs, print at Kinkos and fold, insert with ribbon into program covers
- Mark all decor boxes for Kate and team
- 2nd dress fitting--Sept. 8
- Chris needs to pick up his suit, as do all groomsmen who ordered one!
- Wrap gifts + write cards!
- Rehearsal dinner materials (Somer)
- Bathroom sink skirts (mom)
- Send in wedding announcement to Washington Post
- Place tart order 3 days before Friday at Whole Foods.
- Order cake for grannies for rehearsal dinner
- Cut twine for napkins
- Cut twine for pie boxes
Monday, August 31, 2009
5 Weeks To Go!!!
What's left???!
- Guest book table pens
- Make all escort cards: ribbon + typewriter keys
- Finalize all "final" touches" for escort card table: cards, sign, tree, placement.
- Assign groom's party, Pat, & dad ties! We have so many pretty ones!
- Wrap Jen, Pat's, and Somer's gifts + write thank you cards
- Send Jen Chase form--waiting for Kate's wedding time line to enter details.
- Purchase all alcohol. (*still assembling cost estimate*)
- Have Somer touch up the guest book table chalkboard sign (I messed it up. sigh)
- 2nd dress fitting.
- Finish drafting programs, print out, assemble in covers with ribbon.
- Get fabric for sink skirts and cushion!!
- Get thank you cards for parents.
- Write out cards for Matt + Katie + Grandmas + parents.
- Place cake order for Grannies at rehearsal dinner.
- Cut twine for napkins and label.
- Cut twine for favor boxes.
- Finish rehearsal dinner slideshow.
- Find table for TV/DVD at rehearsal dinner room.
- Hand over all materials for Somer for rehearsal dinner: place cards, table cards, pint-sized mason jars
- Another hair trial.
- Write seat chart for rehearsal dinner on chalkboard easel.
- Print out rehearsal dinner instruction cards.
All things pie!
So, alas, our pie problems are solved! God bless Whole Foods. The staff there offers the most adorable little 2.5-inch apple tarts, made fresh every day. We've got pie, we've got boxes, and an adorable design concept of vintage lace, hand-stamped "thank you" cards, twine, and peach hypericum berries from our florist, Judy. I can't wait!!
Timing for all this is a bit trickier, however, since we'll be in Leesburg on until the wedding. One idea is to place the order at the Fairfax Whole Foods--which is much closer!--and pick them up early Friday morning so we can spend the day (at least until 3 PM) wrapping them up in our little boxes. Timing, is everything!
Timing for all this is a bit trickier, however, since we'll be in Leesburg on until the wedding. One idea is to place the order at the Fairfax Whole Foods--which is much closer!--and pick them up early Friday morning so we can spend the day (at least until 3 PM) wrapping them up in our little boxes. Timing, is everything!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
More Appointments, More Goodies On The Way!!!
Goodies on the Way
August 22: Trial hair and make-up at Cloud Nine Salon
August 29: Meet with Kate at Oatlands to review event and decor
August 30: Meet with Judy to finalize all floral products + order flowers + drop off glassware, bout leaves, ribbon, and twine.
September 1: Meeting with Nicholas, review of program draft for ceremony.
September 8: 2nd dress fitting
- Sample earrings
- Somer's gift (no hints!!)
- Jen's lilac wrap
- Jen's shoes--three pairs, two colors, two sizes to try.
- Guy's suits--measured, ordered, on the way. Still need to look at Patrick's suit, however.
- Escort cards + table cards from Debi with her pretty penwomanship
- Flower pins for hair
- Wedge shoes for outdoor ceremony?
- All beverages--wine, champagne, etc. (still waiting to hear back from Joan)
- Final ties for guys
- Pens for guest book table--or cartridges for the ones we have
- Ribbon for escort card table
- Fabric for bathroom
- Ribbon for escort cards
August 22: Trial hair and make-up at Cloud Nine Salon
August 29: Meet with Kate at Oatlands to review event and decor
August 30: Meet with Judy to finalize all floral products + order flowers + drop off glassware, bout leaves, ribbon, and twine.
September 1: Meeting with Nicholas, review of program draft for ceremony.
September 8: 2nd dress fitting
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